just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
