I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
