allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
