I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
