me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
