It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
