I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
