you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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