By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
