I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
