he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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