oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
