im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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