We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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