Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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