i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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