I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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