I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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