even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
