i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
