why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
