Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize