We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
