I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
