Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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