How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
