he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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