Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There r osticjed everywhere
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
