I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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