tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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