i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
