There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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