i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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