help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He? As in you personified your dick?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
