Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
