We named our party play list daddy issues
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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