best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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