Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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