they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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