I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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