This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
wow bdsm is so cute
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