I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize