I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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