I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
