It's like God shit irony all over that family
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize