i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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