Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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