We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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