guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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