I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
