so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
