The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
