Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this will be a night to untag.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
