i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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