Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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