You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dear god my vagina.
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