You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
