i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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