i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
