i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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